How do you measure… Measure a year.
Years are extremely long.
Distance-wise, I mean. In metric. Consider the following bastardization of mathematics:
Time is money.
Money is the root of all evil.
L, for our purposes, gets to be ‘love’. Congratulations, L.
This is pretty straight-forward. There are that many seconds in a year.
i <3 u. This one is also pretty self-explanatory….I hope.
And i = lu is a bit of a stretch, but it’s “I love you”. Don’t like my math? Deal with it. I’m not aiming for mathematic reliability here.
Simple substitution. Move along, nothing to see here.
Just an expansion of ‘evil’. Note that i = root-neg-one, and e is an approximation.
Some more expansion. Golly — it looks like I substitute v for d/t here. Typo, yes, I see it.
More expansion. Glorious day.
For the following calculations, you’ll need this chart. It shows ‘u’s per annum.
|
MONTH |
TOTAL |
U’s |
|
JANUARY |
7 |
1 |
|
FEBRUARY |
8 |
1 |
|
MARCH |
5 |
0 |
|
APRIL |
5 |
0 |
|
MAY |
3 |
0 |
|
JUNE |
4 |
1 |
|
JULY |
4 |
1 |
|
AUGUST |
7 |
2 |
|
SEPTEMBER |
9 |
0 |
|
OCTOBER |
7 |
0 |
|
NOVEMBER |
8 |
0 |
|
DECEMBER |
8 |
0 |
Six u’s, and 75 letters altogether (“seventy-five letters!”)
Basic math.
Simplification.
34d. That’s all it boils down to.
BOOM. Answer.
For my next trick, I will attempt to determine how many cups of coffee might represent a reliable value of the length of a year. Check back soon. Bring your pencil and periodic table, because I anticipate this one will get a bit messier.
…and yes, I understand it’s a total coup using ‘love’ as a tag on this. But if this were bees‘ wax, it wouldn’t be yours to mind.
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